How Toddler's Social Skills are Affected by the Arts: Part 4 of a 4 Part Series

Social Skills are Not Natural Skills; They are Learned:

By watching others, testing, and interacting with others, children learn what behaviours get which results; how to manipulate their world; what roles are and how they adapt; what the limits are etc.   They are learning about dealing with frustration, patience, delayed gratification, self-esteem, confidence, and the ability to take risks. 


What they are learning now is the basis of how they will interact with others when they are at age16--they are learning about becoming self-disciplined.  Providing opportunities that are challenging and stimulating but not beyond their ability helps them to build self-esteem. How situations are handled can build empathy for others.  They need freedom of choice matched with dependable boundaries.  Finally, a loving environment increases thier ability to learn!

• Talk to toddlers about everything you are doing and thinking (helps them with problem solving skills as well as social skills and self-praise)
• Role-model the skills you want them to copy
• When appropriate, don't solve issues for them--help them find solutions to try
• Don't judge, demoralize, punish---when they act inappropriately it is because they haven't learned the appropriate way yet
• Acknowledge interactions with others, attempts at tasks, accomplishments, risk-taking
• Create story books together (they can draw the pictures), discussing an issue they are having (ex. separation anxiety during child care: include pictures of parents at car and at their work; start the sentences with "I like it when.." and "It makes me sad because..." and end off the story with the information about when the parents will return: time, during what activity etc)
• Give lots of hugs, snuggles, smiles, reassurance, love!

Suggested Activities: for Toddlers to Become Social Beings:
 

• Sing, dance and play music related to children’s cultures.
• Have food tasting or prepare a treat related to children’s cultures.
• Invite family members to share family traditions.
• Invite children to bring in photos or keepsakes of familytraditions.
• Visit a museum or library and borrow artifacts, books, music and art related to a variety of ethnicities.
• Make an effort to expose children to cultures other than their own.
• Play games related to multicultural traditions.
• Always provide pictures, puzzles and books which include children and adults of various ethnic backgrounds.
• Provide dolls of various races and clothing from differentcultures in the dramatic play area.

Here is a link to a Great article "Children as Social Beings," about how children become social beings
http://collab4kids.homestead.com/socialbeings.pdf

Prosocial Behavior

(notes from "Kindermusik and Social/Emotional Development" see link below)

What is it?

Prosocial behavior goes beyond simply “being social” and instead describes acts that specifically show recognition of and empathy for the feelings of others. It involves ethics, sharing, cooperation, caring gestures,
and compromises for cooperation and group harmony.  In studies, prosocial behavior seems linked, not surprisingly, to both listening skills and expression skills, as both are necessary to making connections with others. Children who demonstrate prosocial behaviors are more likely to play well with others, express recognition of the feelings of others, and even engage in conflict-resolution behaviors.

Repeatedly and undeniably, the demonstration of good prosocial behaviors has been statistically associated with teachers’ assessments of children’s school-readiness, with the development of positive friendships and relationships in school, and even with greater literacy skills, as demonstrated in testing. 

Children who can communicate their needs, recognize emotions, and produce appropriate solutions to interpersonal conflicts have an easier time forming positive relationships and benefit more from the learning environment of school. Social development and academic development are inextricably connected.

How it works in a Kindermusik class

Simple observation makes it clear that music activities like those in Kindermusik provide a wonderful opportunity for social interaction and positive connections.  Group activities foster opportunities for cooperation, conversation, coordinated movement, hand-holding, and the abandonment of inhibitions. As a whole, groups who have engaged in musical activities are more confident and better adjusted than groups who engage only in traditional, non-group, non-musical activities.

In addition, research suggests that music activities enable children to better decode the musical aspects (such as rhythm, stress, and intonation) of speech, and even to better identify emotions and tones in spoken language. 

All of these skills—listening, decoding speech, connecting with others, adjusting to a group—are essential to the development of what one study defines as “social competence”, or the capacity for children to engage successfully with other children, to set and meet social goals, to develop friendships, and to gain entry into the peer groups they choose.

“The preschool period is a particularly important time for the development of social skills,” the researchers state. “It is at this time when children begin to expand their social interactions beyond their parents and take on the developmental task of building relationships and acceptance with their peers.”

Excellent article: Kindermusik Music & Social-Emotional Development
Please leave a comment or send me a tweet: @Angelmusik

MUSIC NOTES

Over the River

The familiar lyrics to Over the River and Through the Woods were written by Lydia Maria Child, whose life reads like a chapter out of Little Women. A generation older than Louisa May Alcott, Maria Child was raised near Boston and was one of the first American women to earn a living by writing. She broke into the Boston literary scene with what might be considered an early nineteenth-century bodice-ripper titled Hobomok, in which a noble Native American falls in love with a white woman. After writing more novels and starting a children's magazine, Maria married a man who was active in the abolitionist and American Indian rights movements. Maria joined in her husband's political work, but his protest writings about the Cherokee Nation's forced removal from Georgia landed the family in social and financial peril. It also landed her husband in jail.

To bring in money, Maria wrote a book called The American Frugal Housewife, one of the first advice books directed toward women who ran their households without servants. The American Frugal Housewife became a money-maker, but sales plummeted when Maria wrote an influential and controversial abolitionist tract in favor of interracial marriage. Her children's magazine also had to close. Undaunted, Maria continued to write children's works, political tracts, and novels. Throughout her life she remained an unflinching and vocal supporter of civil rights for African Americans and Native Americans.

Over the River
Over the river and through the woods,
to grandfather's house we go.
The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh,
through the white and drifted snow, oh!
Over the river and through the wood,
oh how the wind does blow.
It stings the toes and bites the nose,
as over the ground we go.

Over the river and through the woods,
to have a first-rate play.
Oh, hear the bell ring, "Ting-a-ling-ling!"
Hurrah for Thanksgiving Day-ay!
Over the river and through the wood,
trot fast my dapple gray/1
Spring over the ground, like a hunting hound!
For this is Thanksgiving Day.

"Ma Said, 'Charles, those children never will get to sleep unless you play for them.' So Pa got his fiddle. The room was still and warm and full of firelight and Pa's fiddle sang merrily to itself...And Laura went to sleep while Pan and the fiddle were both softly singing...." Laura Ingalls Wilder

Bring the Learning Home
Sort it Out
Since learning about instrument families is simply an extension of the toddler task of learning how we organize the world, our daily chores provide countless opportunities to help children form vital brain connections. Put on one of your favorite CD's and whistle while you work during family ensemble time:

• Doing dishes: Keep your silverware in an easy-to-reach low drawer. Let your child put away clean forks, knives and spoons. Cont as you go-how many forks? How many spoons? With the silverware within reach, it's also easier to help set the table, placing the forks on the left and knives and spoons on he right. The left-right distinction can be a hard one, and this is an easy way to begin.
• Groceries: Keep can and dry goods in bottom cabinets. Place the grocery bags on the floor and let your child put those items away.
• Clean-up: How many magazine articles have you read that suggest organizing toys into baskets or shoe boxes? The good news is, not only does this make clean-up quicker, it's easier for your kids to help.
• Laundry: When you're loading the washing machine, let your child help separate the whites form the darks. When everything's dry, see if he can pair up his own socks and put them in his drawer.

Sorting shouldn't be all work and no play. Collect paint chips from the home repair center and watch your child sort them into "mailboxes" made from empty tissue boxes. Buy some weather-related stickers at the hobby store and let your junior meteorologist put the appropriate one on the calendar every morning. Play "I spy shapes" by saying something like, "I see a rectangle on the wall, What do I see?" and seeing if your child can guess "picture frame!" Even babies and toddlers demonstrate a rudimentary understanding of the concept with the much-beloved "Soooooo big!" and "Sooooo Little!"

Listen and Learn
Listen to all kinds of music-brass bands, African drums, classical symphonies, flamenco guitar, jazz piano-as you work, sing, and play throughout the day. Talk to your kids about what you're hearing. What instrument would produce that sound? What might the instrument be made of? How would it be played? Do we have anything like it at home?

Maple Magic
Listen to Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin. He named that tune after the 'Maple Leaf Social Club', an African-American men's association in Sedalia, Missouri where he worked as a pianist. Maple leaves have a unique shape (another category!). Help your child find a particularly fine specimen of a maple leaf or any other nicely-shaped leaf. Place your leaf, vein side up, under a piece of plain white paper, and then rub the side of a crayon firmly on the paper. The shape of the leaf will magically appear.

Listening

"I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen." Ernest Hemingway

The Importance of Doing Nothing

Rocking time has many benefits, with vestibular stimulation, bonding, and listening to music being at the top of the list. Equally valuable is the opportunity during this time to just do nothing. Children need time to be stimulated and engaged, and they need time to be at leisure. This down tme is physically necessary for the brain to process the learning that occurs during structured activites and interaction.