Reading with Toddlers

This is a great article about reading with our toddlers! It offers suggestions of ways to get started and the benefits to our children when we read to them.

The main thing to keep in mind about reading with toddlers is that it has more to do with pointing and talking than with sitting still and listening.

There are many great options for toddler books. Board books fall into two categories: storybooks and content books. A good toddler storybook often shows the sequence of common routines—such as bedtime, taking a walk, or bath time. Helen Oxenbury’s Tom and Pippo series is a great example. A toddler and his imaginary companion, a sock monkey, go through simple activities together under the loving care of mom and dad. While reading storybooks, take time to talk about what is happening and make connections to what your family does that is either the same or different. Books that incorporate touching and feeling, like Pat the Bunny and any book with flaps, create moments for interaction that are ideal for this age.

Board books by Sandra Boyton combine humorous stories with learning concepts, such as animal sounds, and opposites. Your child’s ability to remember and her vocabulary are growing tremendously, and books that introduce first words and emotions feed her desire for information. The structure of a book helps her organize what she is learning. (It is a good idea to save alphabet and counting books for another year or so.)

Parents read to share their own love of books, to bond with their child, to stimulate their child’s language development (among other great reasons). All of these goals can be reached with a toddler by following these recommendations.

How to encourage reading in a toddler:

• Keep durable books in a visible and easy-to-access location.
• Allow your child to choose what to read whenever possible.
• Provide your child a variety of books—story, learning, humorous, rhyming books.
• Build several moments for reading into your daily routine.
• Resist taking away reading time as a consequence. (“Mommy will not read a bedtime story tonight if…)
• Limit television viewing.

How to manage reading with a toddler:

• Be willing to read only parts of a book and pages out of order.
• Read when asked.
• Let your child hold the book and turn the pages.
• Sit close to your child, as much as possible, while reading.

While you are fostering a love of books, disregard the commonly held idea that you must read to your child for a set amount of time (20 minutes) in one sitting everyday, or that you are a failure if you can’t get your toddler to sit still to “read.” Home literacy has a lot to do with having dynamic conversation, using a varied vocabulary, and modeling a love of reading. If, in your literacy rich home, you continue to make books available and offer to read on a routine basis, your child will take interest. At some point, the momentum to read together will shift from you to your child…and then be ready to sit down with a pile of picture books.

Credits: 60 second parent website: great articles! http://www.sixtysecondparent.com/_webapp_218785/Reading_with_Toddlers

Parenting a Shy Child

I thought this was a great article.  My son is not shy at all, a bit hesitant in new situations, but then fine as he gets is bearings.  However, I was a very shy child growing up.  But I was shy because I was a big kid--bigger than everyone--until they started passing me up in Jr. High School.  I could have used some of these suggestions and helps while I was in elementary school.

Many children are shy – it's not uncommon at all. However, dealing with a shy child as a parent can be difficult. While there is no shame in being shy, if you continue to let your child be shy, they can later be robbed of important life opportunities. For this reason, it's important that parents find ways to help bring their child out, helping them to overcome the shyness that they are dealing with. Of course, it's easier said than done to help your child get over being shy. Here is a look at tips and advice that parents can use to help out when it comes to parenting a shy child.

Why Is Your Child Shy?

The first thing you need to do if you have a shy child is to ask yourself why your child is shy in the first place. There are various reasons that your child may be shy. Take a look at when you notice your child being shy. Are they shy all the time, only shy when meeting someone new, shy in large groups, or shy when having to make presentations? If you are able to figure out the situations when your child is shy, you will be better able to overcome this.

You also need to consider the fact that your child may be dealing with more than just a bit of shyness. Various medical conditions and other conditions may be confused with shyness in a child. Your child could be dealing with a problem like Asperger's Syndrome, autism, anxiety, or even learning disabilities. Take a careful look at your child and their actions. If you think there may be an underlying problem other than shyness, make sure they get the professional attention that they need.

Be a Role Model
Another important tip for parenting a shy child is to be a role model yourself. You may be surprised at how much your child learns from you. They learn by watching what you do, so it is important that you are a good role model for them. When you are in social situations, be friendly to others, introduce yourself to other people, and compliment strangers, friends, and family members. There are some things you should avoid too. Don't criticize other people in public, don't berate your child for being shy, and don't avoid people because you are nervous. This only sends the wrong message to your child. Even if you are a shy person yourself, to help you child, you need to overcome that and work on setting the example for your child. Not only can this help your child learn important social skills, but it can help you overcome shyness in your own life as a parent.

Start Early with Social Skills

Good social skills don't just randomly occur in children – they are taught. This means that you need to work on these skills with your children, and the earlier you begin, the better. Shyness increases as children age, so you need to start young with your child. Not sure how to encourage social skills in your young child? Start out by having play dates so your child gets the chance to interact with other children at a young age. Take time at home to practice social skills, such as giving compliments, introducing people, or even shaking hands with others. Teach kids about friendship and how to be a good friend. These are all simple ways that you can teach young children important social skills that will help them to overcome shyness later in life.

Help Your Child Learn About Respect and Tolerance
 People who are shy are often more judgmental – of themselves as well as others. If you are judgmental yourself, this will teach your child to become this way as well. When you are criticizing others, you are teaching children that when they go out, people are going to judge them as well, which leads to even more shyness. This causes them to withdraw into their own world of shyness. It is important that you instead teach your child about respect and tolerance for other people. Teach them to respect people even if they do have shortcomings. Let them know that no one is perfect, but people are worthwhile and should be tolerated in spite of imperfections. Compliment other people instead of tearing people down.

Also, you need to avoid referring to your child's shyness in a negative way, which is a way of judging your child. While shyness should not be an excuse for behavior, you need to avoid labeling your child as shy in a negative way. Instead, find ways you can compliment your child while helping them to overcome the shyness that they are dealing with.

When You Need Help
There are some cases where your child may simply be dealing with shyness. However, there are times when this can be a more serious problem, such as severe social anxiety disorder. Sometimes children can go beyond simply being shy and they may become depressed, lonely, isolated, and they may even feel hopeless. In some cases, this may lead to panic attacks when they are put in social situations. This is not a simple problem to ignore. If you feel that your child is dealing with more than simple shyness, do not wait to get help. It may be a good idea to find a good psychologist that is trained in treating these problems in children.

Parenting a shy child can be tough, but if you work on it as a team with your child, they can overcome shyness, which will be helpful later in life for them. Use these tips and ideas with your child and remember, if it seems that your child is more than just shy, get the help that your child needs.

Article found here: http://www.more4kids.info/2413/parenting-a-shy-child/
More4kids is a Parenting resource dedicated to helping encourage children's intellectual and growth.

The Quest for Control

Part Three: The Emotional World of the Toddler

The granddady of developmental theorists, Sigmund Freud, talked about the major task of toddlerhood as being the acquisition of control over toileting. While most developmental scholars now have a much wider view, it is still important to keep in mind how crucial the issue of devleoping control for a toddler–control over body functions, over physical activities, over feelings, and over the world around the toddler.

Wise parents and educators strike a blance between structure and clear expectations on the one hand, and avoiding unnecessary regimentation and sources of conflict on the other. Toddlers do best when they are invited and attracted into ctivities, and diverted into other activities, rather than required to participate in them. Happily, their incredible curiosity and motivation to learn makes thier easier when the activities in quesion are as nturally appealing as music and movement.

In Kindermusik Our Time, children are invited to participate in activities, but at no time is there an expectation of performance. Activities such as the object and instrument exploration in Our Time remove any performance expectations because the parent becomes the teacher in a playful interaction that is controlled by the child’s desire to participate.

Hold Me and Let Me Go!

Part Two: The Emotional World of the Toddler

Another major task for toddlers that can confuse parents at first is resolving the conflict between their passionate desire for closeness to their parents--after all, they are still barely out of babyhood--and their equally fierce drive for independence. The mantra for many toddler is "Me DO" or as one toddler sputtered all day long, "Self!" Yet, when the going gets tough, the tough get going right back to mom's or dad's lap. Some call this the "rubber band" stage because it seems like the toddler is pulling outward and then snapping back.

Activities such as Music and Movement Story Time in the Our Time curriculum provide toddlers this opportunity. A child can move into the circle during Story Time and actively participate if he wishes, or he can stay close to mom or dad and listen to the story being rad. Given this security, most toddlers will naturally move to greater, and more appropriate, independence as they approach pre-school age.

What Makes A Parent-Child Relationship Close?

Mom Wisdom comes in many forms. Mamapedia Voices proudly showcases useful and insightful posts by selected writers, from up-and-coming mom bloggers to well-known mom experts.



Photo by: Jerome Rothermund
June 7, 2010
Article by Ellen Galinsky of "Mind in the Making"



The following article is how to make a parent-child relationship close. I found this article to be very thought-provoking. It made me think about my relationship with my own mother. We were never very close and I was never able to be honest and communicate in an open way; I always thought that when I had a child I would never be that way. However, my mom and I become much closer after I adopted my son, we finally had something in common--we both were madly in love with my son!
          Now that my son is nine years old I've had plenty of years and opportunities to practice my resolution to provide open communication with my child. I'd like to say we have perfect open communication, but that wouldn't be totally true, but I do try to let him be totally honest with me and say whatever is on his mind, as long as it isn't too mean or "snotty". I also try to be open and honest with him at an appropriate level. We have fabulous conversations on the way to school in the morning--he talks about funny things that happen at school and about his fears and concerns. Hopefully during the years to come he will keep feeling safe to talk and confide in me especially as we approach the adolescent years.  After reading, please share your thoughts!

“Why do you think you are so close?”

“I had that kind of relationship with my own mother,” I answered. “I connect to my daughter the way my mother connected to me.”

“What did she do?” my daughter’s colleague asked.

“I was always free to tell her when things weren’t working between us and why,” I answered.

It would have been my mother’s birthday last week—so I have been thinking of her a lot. Her birthday is at the end of May—the time of year when the spring flowers have faded and the summer flowers are bursting forth. As the day of her birthday dawned, my sister and I wrote to each other about her—as we always do—remembering Mother’s birthdays in her 90s, eating “pink-and-yellow-rose decorated store-bought cake” until we all felt sick and fell asleep on the chairs that are now in our homes, not hers. We also wrote about how we continue to talk with her, even though she isn’t here.

But the conversation with my daughter’s colleague took me back to Mother when I was a rebellious and moody pre-teen, a time when I was prone to slam doors, not speak for hours or to yell, rather than talk. Like most pre-teens, I was not easy. And yet Mother navigated my moods with true grace. She would NOT listen to me if I were rude or mean. But if I could bring my complaints to her without being nasty, she would listen.

And so I did. I told her when she wasn’t being fair in the way she treated my sister and me. She told me that I had a point and she worked hard at changing. I told her that I desperately didn’t want to go to the school she had selected for me to attend. She told me that education was extremely important to her and I had to give it a chance. So I did. Throughout her life, I was able to talk to her about what mattered most to me. And throughout her life, she was able to talk to me about what mattered most to her.

I didn’t realize how unusual this was until I began spending the night with friends and saw that some of them weren’t able to talk to their mothers and fathers the way I was able to talk with my mother.

And I didn’t realize that not all kids are trusted and expected to be good until I went to the school Mother wanted me to attend and saw that this school didn’t really trust us; in fact, they expected us to do things that were wrong.

I remember looking at my Mother then with new-found respect. And when my own daughter stormed at me during her growing-up years, I tried hard to keep the door open to hearing her feelings. But I always continued my mother’s rule—strong feelings could be expressed and listened to as long as they were said in ways that weren’t mean and weren’t rude.

I now realize that my mother and I use the skill of perspective taking—attempting to understand what others think and feel without imposing our own perspectives on what’s on their minds. But I only realized this when I was researching and writing my latest book, Mind in the Making.

And my thirty-something-year-old daughter and I continue to talk with each other this way. She tells me what she thinks and feels and I tell her what I think and feel—many, many times a day.

So I thank my daughter for connecting me to her colleague and giving me the chance to reconsider closeness my closeness with my family across the generations. This is a conversation worthy of continuing and expanding.

If you have or had a particularly close relationship with a parent, what did he or she do to make it close? Or if you have a particularly close relationship with one or more of your children, what are you doing to foster that relationship?

Share your thoughts below- I’m very curious to hear!

HOW TO TAME TODDLER TANTRUMS

Mom Wisdom comes in many forms. Mamapedia Voices proudly showcases useful and insightful posts by selected writers, from up-and-coming mom bloggers to well-known mom experts.

Photo by: Jared Smith
What? Well Behaved Children who Never Tantrum
May 25, 2010, by Danielle of "Free to be Parenting"

I am sharing this article because it's good to learn about different methods of child rearing--we learn from each other and other philosphies.  I had lots of trouble with my son having temper tantrums when he was a toddler, so I started feel a little put out by this article, but it has some really good points.  I hope you will read it and give me your thoughts and opinions.

I know it sounds like a mythical creature, but Yes, they exist, children who are well behaved and never tantrum. You think next I will tell you about the unicorn in my back yard. (His name is Gary and I feed him rainbows.)

There is a growing segment of the population that has abandoned punishment and rewards for something more effective, that results in well behaved kids who do not do what we have come to believe is "normal", namely tantrums and rebellion.

This all started in the 60's, yes I know you're thinking, "Okay hippie, Peace & Love, yeah I get it." But unlike some of the ill-fated and Ill-conceived ideas of that time, parents (hundreds of thousands of them) have found that these "methods" actually result in happy kids who almost always do what parents ask of them. Not only that, but these parents find that they enjoy parenting and family life a lot more than their contemporaries.

So if these parents are not using the tried and true systems of merits and demerits, what are they doing? There are volumes of books on the subject, but the following is a brief synopsis.

1.  When their kids have emotional moments these parents "listen & validate". Psychiatrists might call this active or reflective listening. These parents let their kids be sad (cry) or angry (yell) while listening with empathy. For example- It's time to leave the park. Kid cries and the parent says, "Oh, it is hard to leave the park, you were having so much fun" Kid says still crying, "yeah I want to stay" Parent- "Yeah, you want to stay and have more fun." The conversation continues (as they leave), goes back and forth with the parent acknowledging the kids' experience. The kid expresses all of his sadness about leaving. Done, move on.

When this is a parent's modus operandi, kids rarely, if ever, tantrum because a tantrum is basically an accumulation of disappointment, sadness, frustration, anger, etc. that has been stored up until one final drop of disappointment,etc. spills the bucket and it all comes pouring out. (One Exception- Some kids have been taught by their parents that tantrums are an effective way to change a "no" to a "yes". In this case, tantrums are just a means of getting a desired result.)

You can doubt me on this, but my certainty overcomes your doubt because I know what I know. And I personally know hundreds of families who have children that do not tantrum and I would guess there are many thousands more.

Now, if your kid tantrums, THIS IS NOT an indictment of your parenting. You are doing THE MOST challenging "job" on earth and you are doing it well! The decisions you make on this job have mortal consequences and you only get "on the job" training. So, if you have managed to keep most of your children alive, you get an A++ by me and anyone else who has ever undertaken the duty of a parent.

2. These parents meet their kids needs for respect and attention (bonding/connection). They treat kids with the level of respect they would treat someone they admire. (There is really too much to say on this topic for me to do it here, so I will have to leave it at that.)

Then, they give kids the attention that kids need. This means regular one-on-one time with each kid. Special time that is spent doing something that really makes the kids feel loved and connected. You might think, "OMG, I don't have that kind of time", but if you consider that these parents do not have to spend time cajoling, bribing, dragging kids to do what they have asked nor punishing them for uncooperative behavior, you can see how that would free up a good amount of time.

Again, there are volumes of books about how to really connect with kids and the cooperation that results. My purpose here is just a brief summary of the concepts.

3. When these parents have the occasion of "mis-behavior" from their kids, they look for the root cause and address it. For example- Is the kid hungry or tired? Do they need my attention right now? Do they need more control over choices in their life? Do they have an allergy or sensitivity? (Yes food allergies and additives can affect behavior) The list can go on. The point is that there is a cause and the parent can help the child address it.

4. Okay, you might think that without punishment these children run wild and never learn how to be in the world, but the opposite is true. These parents are the Ultimate Disciplinarians. Discipline means to instruct or teach. (Go ahead get your Websters, I'll wait.) These parents DO teach their kids how to behave well. Because of the relationship they have with their kids, they actually have influence and when they advise a child to "whisper in the library". The kids actually listen and learn how to behave in that situation. (One caveat- They also have an understanding of what is age appropriate. i.e. Telling a 1 year old to "whisper in the library" and expecting it to stick would likely be an unrealistic expectation.)

The point is these parents are continually disciplining (by modeling & explaining) their children how to be respectful, caring, helpful and most importantly how to make amends or restitution for their mistakes. True discipline.

These parents and their kids won't stand out in a crowd, they look just like you and me. They watch Sponge Bob and eat pizza, although maybe less so than the general population. But you may spot them from time to time if you look carefully. They are the ones with smiles on their faces who seem unruffled (or even joyful) in the presence of children.

Danielle Koprowski, ACPI Certified Coach for Parents, has been working with parents and families for more than 5 years. She lives her passion through Free To Be Parenting, inspiring parents to learn how to deeply enjoy parenting. Visit Free to be Parenting to get a Free Positive Parenting Course.

Give me your opinions and thoughts about this article!

Let's Get UnBalanced!

Mamapedia Voices

Mom Wisdom comes in many forms. Mamapedia Voices proudly showcases useful and insightful posts by selected writers, from up-and-coming mom bloggers to well-known mom experts.

Let's Get Unbalanced: Digging into Work
Photo by: Perfecto Insecto
May 22, 2010
by Peri Pakroo

I just found this article about finding balance in our lives, especially if we are stay at home parents with a small business that we run out of our homes. What I love about this article is that she talks about not having balance and making that work. I really appreciate that, because balance in my life seems impossible. I am still a new business owner-- trying to get my teaching studio established and I have nine year old son with learning disabilities that I've had to deal with this year. So please read below and discover that we don't have to be in balance all the time (yeah!).

“Master multitasker” has always been part of the job description for us parents. Add self-employment to the mix, and the juggling act gets even crazier. Being responsible for all the details involved in running even a small firm seems to double the number of balls in the air. And business owners also need to find quiet, focused time to work on big-picture business strategy and direction (and I’ll come back to this in just a bit). With all these competing claims on our time and attention, it’s little wonder that the challenge of keeping a semblance of balance between our work and personal lives is a perennial issue for self-employed parents.

But as great as it feels to hit that sweet spot of balance, since kids have entered my self-employed life I often find myself practically desperate to dive deep and get lost in the business — to throw balance to the wind, even for just a few days. Of course, as any mom or dad knows, kids (especially little ones) make this nigh impossible, particularly if you work from home. I look back on the days when I’d live and breathe a project for days or weeks on end and that reality seems as remote a possibility today as my pre-pregnancy waistline.

Sure, work/life balance is important in the long term (I’ve written and talked quite a bit about it as a small business author and consultant). But sometimes a business owner — particularly those who have no employees — needs to get into “the zone” to get things done. For instance, a graphic designer might need to dig in and lay out a 100-page annual report on a tight deadline. Or a CPA might need to get a raft of client tax returns done as April 15 looms. The owner of a small retail store may need to catch up with generating sales reports after a busy holiday season. But finding the time to hunker down for a big project often feels like trying to solve some impossible math equation.

The problem is, getting into the zone takes at least a couple uninterrupted hours — for me, ideally three or more (better yet, a few days in a row). But fat, juicy time chunks like these are frustratingly out of reach for parents of little ones. Bottom line: kids are zone-killers.

I’m starting to think that sometimes what I crave more than balance is the opportunity to get unbalanced once in a while and immerse myself in work, even if just for a few days. But with a nursing 6-month-old and a preschooler, it’s just not gonna happen.

For me and many self-employed parents I know, working at night is one solution. These days, I do my best work after the kids go down ’round 7-ish. I can get an easy three or four hours uninterrupted work time and still get to bed at a reasonable hour (reasonable for us night owls, at least). If I have a deadline to meet or other important project, I can really get into the zone, working till 2 or 3am. I pay for it in the morning, but a good part of the morning is nursing time anyway which frankly doesn’t require a whole lot of mental effort on my part. So, for now, it works.

However. Even when we manage to get our client projects done, catch up with the bookkeeping, and meet the deadlines — all without letting our children starve or run wild in the streets — there’s more to do when you’re self-employed. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, running a business — even a small one-person firm — involves more than just getting the essentials done. An enormously important (if often overlooked) part of the role of a business owner is to steer the ship, take account of the big picture and define a strategic direction for the business.

Now, I realize that a lot of small solo operators, freelancers and the like tune out at the words “strategic direction,” thinking that I must be talking about big companies with fancy boardrooms full of high-powered executives hashing out market studies and sales reports and all those things “other” businesses do. Not so! Defining your market and strategy, and regularly revisiting and refining those definitions, is important even for microbusinesses like freelance writers, photographers and consultants. I’ll explain why in a future post.)

Of all the tasks on a busy business owner’s plate, it’s the big-picture, strategic work that most often gets the shaft. And it’s easy to understand why. Strategic analysis and big-picture thinking are precisely the kinds of activities that are best done “in the zone.” You won’t be able to take a mental step back from your business and effectively evaluate what it’s doing and where it should be headed in the stolen moments between feeding your kids, swapping out 2T for 3T clothes in the closet, or preparing snack for the preschool class.

Plus, as you are undoubtedly aware, there are always more pressing issues in a business that end up trumping the strategic work. If you are forced to choose between meeting a client deadline or taking a half-day to wrangle with big-picture issues, the client deadline sensibly wins out.

But over time, lack of attention to the strategic side of things results in drift, lack of focus and missed opportunities. At worst, a business owner might fail to see a significant shift in the market that leaves her business out in the cold. By the time sales plummet and the owner realizes what has happened, it very well might be too late to turn things around.

To avoid this happening to you, here’s my advice: The next time you allow yourself a little work bender, dedicate it to some strategic work. Pull yourself out of the day-to-day trenches and put some careful thought into where your business is, and where you’d like it to go. Catch up on your business reading, keeping an eye out for trends and opportunities that may have escaped your notice. Maybe a big new company is moving into your town that represents a possible big customer — or a formidable competitor. Maybe there is new technology affecting your industry that isn’t yet being used by your local competition, giving you the opportunity to establish an edge over them. Whatever it is, give yourself a little time to zone out of the day-to-day minutae (I like to call it “making the donuts”) and tap into the bigger picture of your business.

Also remember that staying connected to other folks and steadily growing your network is a great way to keep tabs on what’s going on in your field. Business owners — especially solo operators — can easily get isolated if they don’t actively reach out and network. Have lunch with fellow business owners and media contacts, attend trade shows and conventions, and interact online (you already know that Mamapedia is a great resource). When you do this regularly you’ll be up to speed on the latest trends, putting you in a great position to make strategic decisions.

Nope, it’s not easy to find the time to do this. But think about how you otherwise manage to get the essentials done, like filing your taxes or finishing client projects on time. The main change you might have to make is simply seeing the strategic, big-picture work as just as important as making the donuts. If you start thinking of strategic work as an essential ongoing task, you’ll be well on your way to figuring out a way to escape the daily distractions, get into the zone, and steer your business to success.

Peri Pakroo is a business and communications consultant, specializing in legal and start-up issues for businesses and nonprofits. She has started, participated in, and consulted with start-up businesses for 20 years. She is the author of The Women’s Small Business Start-Up Kit (Nolo) and top-selling business books. Peri is also a new Mom.

11 ways to REALLY listen to your child

Oringially posted by my friend Vanessa Cabrera77 on May 4, 2010

A few days ago I read this (I can't remember where!) “We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is twice as hard and important as talking”. Well, it's true! And then I thought about children and kids have lot to say... a lot! Sometimes adults don’t think that children have anything important to say or that they can’t learn from children. So often times they do all the talking, they lecture, preach or, worst of all, ignore them!

Listening to your children will help them grow up to be adults with increased self-esteem because you will make them feel like what they have to say is important. However, children are not always sure how to communicate their feelings, so they might be saying or acting out completely different from how they actually feel. Active listening can help you, help them figure it out.

So here are some tips to REALLY listen to your child when they have something important
(or not) to say:

1.  Stop what you are doing- Don't be distracted doing something else.
2. Look at your child-Sit at his/her level.
3. Pay attention to your child's nonverbal language-Does the child look happy, sad, afraid?
4. Be silent. It might be hard, but it is important that they have time to express themselves. It will also give you time to understand the situation before reacting.
5. Use simple acknowledgement responses that show you are listening- For example, "I see". "Oh". "Uh-Huh". Hmmm."
6. Use door-openers; phrases that encourage further talking- "Tell me more", "Go on", "How do you feel about that?", "I know what you mean", "Then what?"
7. Listen for and name the feelings you think you hear from what your child is telling you-"That made you pretty mad, didn't it?", "You seem really happy about that!"
8. Use problem-solving phrases when needed- "What do you wish you could do?", "What do you want to happen?", "What do you think will happen if you do that?"
9. Don't feel that you must advise or help your child come up with a solution all the time- The value of listening is in the listening itself.
10. Let them know you are available.
11. Don't try to deny, discount, or distract the child from the feelings they are expressing.

Listening helps parents and children avoid the power struggle cycle. Instead of arguing, listen. Show your understanding while maintaining your position. Listening builds stronger relationships, shows respect and helps the child explore his/her own feelings and thoughts on a deeper level. It builds their sense of empathy.

Are you ready to listen to your child?